Attention 101..

"Feel sorry for me today,"
Said little Kay Jay,
"I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth iz wet, my throat iz dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are az big az 80's cell phones,
I've counted thirty seven kidney stones
And there's another stroke--that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg iz cut, my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic Swine Flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that both my legz are broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button'z caving in,
My back iz wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck iz stiff, my voice iz weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue iz filling up my mouth,
I think my hair iz falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There iz a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart iz--what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today iz---Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going to Wendover to play!"