You are GAIUS BALTAR.
You are a genius. You are the smartest human alive. And no one appreciates that fact more than you. Oh, how you've suffered for it — labeled a traitor, tortured by both the Cylons and the humans, put on trial, nearly lynched, stabbed, shot, strangled, cast out of human society. But hey: a whole harem of very fine women just adopted you as their personal messiah and man-of-the-house. So things are starting to look up.
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